It's interesting to think about how we maintain memories. Some of them stay with us forever, others come and go and then some just seem to go. And no matter what we do, we can't seem to get them back. When I think about our wedding, all three of these types of memories exist. One of the ways we retain memories is by having pictures.
Two years ago, when I was making the video for Lori on this website, I was looking for our wedding pictures. It had been almost 10 years since I had remembered looking at them or seeing them. Of course, we have a few that are around the house, but I struggled to remember where or what wedding pictures we have. I couldn't find any more pictures in the places I assumed they might be.
As I started to put together the timeline of the after wedding activities, I remembered getting the proofs from the wedding. I specifically recall going through them and picking out pictures that we were going to order for our parents, siblings and friends. I can see the sheets with small pictures on them all marked with the word "proof" across them, preventing us from duplicating them without paying. Although it was just 12 years ago, the industry had not yet made the full transition into the digital world.
I recall talking with Lori about how we were going to pay for all of these photos that we wanted. The prices were high and included options to buy different sizes of individual pictures and to buy albums of pictures too. I also know that we had originally picked out dozens of pictures that we were going to order for family and friends but after we saw the prices on them, we had to really narrow down the pictures we ordered. So it was not surprising that I didn't find a box or bin of wedding pictures. I assumed that we bought what we could afford and planned to buy others at a later time.
Over the summer, I was working up in my office while Lilly was downstairs in the living room working on some project of her own. After some time, she came up stairs and asked me for a stapler. I told her where she could find one back downstairs on Lori's desk. She ran down, as always, excited to complete whatever project she was working on. Minutes later, she came back upstairs, telling me she couldn't find the stapler. I stopped what I was doing and asked her to listen closely to my explanation.
"Down stairs on Mommy's desk, there is the top of the desk, and then down the sides, there are drawers. Listen to me Lilly. Above the drawer, there is a little shelf. On that shelf, is the stapler. Do you understand?" Lilly had one foot out the door before I barely finished. She said she knew, and ran down to get it.
Another minute later, Lilly was calling for me, telling me she couldn't find the stapler. I reluctantly got out of my chair and headed down to help. When I sat in the chair at the desk, I wanted to make a point to Lilly about listening and understanding my instructions, so I turned to her and tried to re-explain.
"Lilly, what did I tell you? Here is Mommy's desk. Remember I said that there are drawers on the sides. See, here are the drawers. And what did I tell you? The stapler would be above the drawer, on a little shelf." As I finished, Lilly's eyes spotted the stapler. As she moved to get it, she stopped and noticed something else.
"Daddy, what are these?" She pointed at two plastic cases.
"Those are Mommy's art markers and colored pencils." I told her.
"Ohhh, I know, I remember Mommy was drawing a picture with them. It was of a girl on the beach with a beach ball." She always has such a glow about her when she recalls a memory.
I don't remember what picture Lilly is referring to. Lori drew lots of pictures, so it is likely she would have drawn a picture of a girl on the beach, but I don't have one like Lilly described. She easily could be thinking about other pictures that we have that Lori had drawn.
I have mentioned before about the dresser like thing we have in our bedroom. It is bigger than a nightstand, but it does not have drawers like a dresser. It has two doors, one on either side of the front, and it has 3 smaller drawers down the middle. I have been casually looking to get another one. I have no idea where Lori got it. One day, I was making more of an effort to find out where Lori purchased it from. I had done a pretty thorough search on line, to no avail. So I went up to it and started looking for any indication of a make. A sticker, an engraving, a number, anything that might help. I moved it to look at the back, tried a flashlight underneath, the sides, inside the drawers, and nothing. I opened up the doors and started to move around the stuff inside.
I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did find a picture. A drawing actually. A girl on the beach, next to a beach chair. And on the sand, near her feet, was a beach ball.
Lilly's memory is apparently much better than mine. I couldn't help but stare at it and smile. I called Lilly in to look at it and all she said was "Mommy was such a great artist. Do you think I am a great artist?" I put the picture on top of the dresser and finished my search for the "artist" who made the nightstand/dresser. No luck. No a single marking that would help me identify who made it, sold it, manufactured, etc… With the search completed, I looked at the drawing again. I searched through my memories to recall Lori drawing this and came up blank. I did however, recall a picture frame that Lori had that I thought might be perfect for it. But where did I see this picture frame?
I went over to the my office and into the closet, where I seem to remember there being some picture frames. There was a small stack of them tucked into the bin, but none of them was the one I pictured in my head. I know she had it. It was medium size, maybe would fit an 8x10 or maybe even a little larger. It had shells around the exterior of the frame. It would be perfect for a beach picture. This memory was too strong for it not to be true. Then I remembered the dry sink.
In the hallway, we have a dry sink. It was handed down to us from Lori's Grandparents. It is an odd piece of furniture that Lori seemed to really like. It fits well in the hall and we have used it for odds and ends. Lori kept a variety of table cloths and placemats in one of the cabinets. In a drawer, there are random items like hanging hooks and miniature light bulbs. I grew more excited thinking about the contents I knew was in there and for some reason, I just had a feeling that I would find the frame.
I headed downstairs to the hallway with the sink and began opening the doors from left to right. Table cloths, placemats, a few holiday decorations, but no picture frame. The next door revealed some of our china and a few kitchen accessories. The last door had more table linens. I removed the small stack and revealed a gold box. I pulled out the box and opened it up.
Inside were two leather bound photo albums. The inscription said, "Mr. and Mrs. Matthew DuBois, September 30, 2000". I stared at the album and slowly lifted the first one out of the box. I carefully opened it up and there inside was the complete collection of all of our wedding photos. Not the proofs, the actual photos! A receipt on the last page showed an option to buy individual pictures or to buy leather bound albums. In Lori's handwriting, the box was checked and our address was listed below.
As much as I thought and thought, I couldn't recall ever buying the albums. Yet here they were. I am sure that Lori must have bought them. And although I can't ever remember that she did, inside was a treasure of memories. Some I remembered easily, some I recalled after seeing the picture and others I don't remember at all. But what I do know is that the next time that Lilly needs a stapler, tape, glue, scissors or any other item, I won't just dismiss it. Because you never know where your memory will take you. In this case, the stapler led us to the markers which led us to the drawing which led me to look for the frame which brought me to the dry sink which housed some of my greatest memories.